I am pretty much fine, at least till now. Though it has not been long and I had wasted a lot of time today but I am fine considering I have had no PMO. I was thinking what might happen if I had an urge and I gave in? And guess what, I had a super urge and was literally going to give in but I picked up my phone and texted my accountability partner, mr. awesome. He gave me advice to take a cold shower immediately which I took and I felt much better afterwards. I also had a good chat with him, he is dealing with his own problems and I with mine. We have screwed up our rain too much with porn and PMO, we need a good recovery but his advice really helped and I didn’t think about naked girls till tonight.
It was a nightmare for me not to do anything. I have to suppress the thoughts of girls or anything sexual that comes into my mind. For a good recovery, it is necessary that I do not day dream about it. The more I will, the more it will affect my recovery. Nobody wants a failed recovery or a partial one. The most important thing that came into my mind after I read someone’s blog is that we as recoverer are focusing on reboot (the people recovering from porn addiction through no PMO and focusing on restrictive days usually 90). We are focusing on number of days that we should go on without PMO. /it does not help that much as rewiring help. I think I should focus on rewiring too. Rewiring gives a better insight of yourself and you can connect better with your partner. However, rewiring is not an easy task. I think for someone impatient like me reboot will be fine but that craving of rewiring does not go. It’s like buying an Iphone. When you are in store, you think why not Iphone 6s?
Well, surviving is the key here. I’ll have to first survive then upgrade. The battle of 90 days. 1 down, 89 to go………. keep going…. keep going……..